Hephaistion's Perfect World
by Lysis
Summary: This is a fantasy spoof that Hephaistion occasionally engages in while dealing with a particular Persian youth who has joined Alexander's circle. Diplomacy may be his middle name, but being human at times he must retain his sanity, and so, Hephaistion allows his darker side to entertain certain whimsies when his frustration becomes more than he can bear politely.
1. Chapter 1

Hephaistion's Perfect World

December 2016 by Lysis

This is a fantasy spoof that Hephaistion occasionally engages in while dealing with a particular Persian youth who has joined Alexander's circle. Diplomacy may be his middle name, but being human at times he must retain his sanity, and so, Hephaistion allows his darker side to entertain certain whimsies when his frustration becomes more than he can bear politely.

(A very naughty elf wrote this.)

* * *

Chapter 1

His eyes narrowed, and he could swear his hair bristled on his scalp, fists clenching as of the own accord he muttered in barrack's Macedonian under his breath as he entered the small carpeted chamber. Alexander was in his bath, eyes closed, luxuriating in the scented steam rising in the air as though to tempt him on. Damp golden curls hung caressingly about his handsome face, and joy glowed brightly as he opened his eyes as Hephaistion came near. A wide smile spread across his full lips and he gave a soft sigh reaching out his hand. "Tion!"

Hephaistion stiffened, his gaze immediately fastened on the black eyed youth standing behind the king. "Bagoas, Baa…Ba…go..ass." He just barely kept from sneering, as it was he drew out the the last syllable into one long hiss. Oh, for an adder's long tongue to flick at the youth and send him screeching like some silly girl from the room. The graceful youth smiled at him and bowed, as was appropriate for his station. Exquisitely epicene, Bagoas' long wavy black hair swung tantilizing about his slender shoulders and gleamed with a very dark bluish cast. It complimented his ivory skin perfectly. How nice it would look dripping with stinking, slimy mud. Oh, Hades! Hephaistion muttered not just the hair, but all of him. He'd love to drop in him some greasy, foul pit somewhere.

"Truly, Hephaistion, what is the matter with you? Be civil!" Hephaistion treated Alexander to his most sought after smile, as he envisioned dropping a large boulder on Bagoas' head. He was just another of Alexander's little pets, Hephaistion coddled himself with the thought. He could bear it he told himself if it didn't go on for much longer.

Patroklos' place, a uniquely private one, which he had called his own for so long had been usurped by the interloper, again. The pages he had never minded, he knew Alexander's weakness for beautiful boys, and it was their duty as he and Alexander came of age to mentor them, but this was becoming different. The boy was becoming a fixture! Hephaistion cleared his throat and relaxed his balled up fists, which he had been keeping hidden close in his mantle. The deep rich, honeyed attar that smelt of blue lotus delighted his senses until Hephaistion found himself studying Alexander and Bagoas curiously. His eyes became heavy for a moment and he drifted off, his thoughts forming into fantasy:

"Alexander, my Lord…Great King," Hephaistion near bowed himself in half as he approached slowly allowing a certain note to linger in his voice. Alexander's dreamy blue gaze met his longingly and he answered it, but a bit more slowly than usual. Make him wait, Hephaistion told himself as he watched Alexander moan softly as the….the, that boy massaged his sore shoulders.

Alexander turned slightly in his hip bath, splashing the scented water on Hephaistion's feet. Hephaistion backed up quickly, and felt his back collide with the slender form of Bagoas who wiggled like a snake away from him. "Don't look so ominous Tion, Bagoas doesn't bite." Alexander grinned at both men and winked at Hephaistion. Hephaistion bite his tongue to prevent it from presenting him with a smart argument. It was Alexander who bit, hard too. Suddenly Hephaistion couldn't prevent his eyes from roaming the boy's slender neck. Hmm, nothing, good. It had better stay that way too if Al….

"Oh, arguing with Parmenion and Philotas makes me so tense. You know how I seem to hold it all in my shoulders." Alexander gabbled on, his eyes seeking his companion's agreement. Hephaistion watched him with a bemused smiled on his face. "Bagoas is learning, but he hasn't got your touch." His blue gaze entreated. Hephaistion responded with a slight grin.

 _And he never will, you dolt! He isn't me._ He allowed the thought to bloom in his head, but left it unspoken as he turned toward the pathetic creature. "I doubt you are putting enough pressure on those muscles, Bagoas, press harder, much harder, just ignore him if he cries out. Alexander won't mind, we know how he can stand pain like no other. Non, non, here…let me show you." His face a stern mask of irritation Hephaistion "politely" shoved the long haired youth away so roughly he lost his balance and rolled head first into a nearby clothing chest with a resounding and pleasing thump. A small half open ivory casket sitting atop the chest bounced off Bagoas' bent head and spilled open releasing a cascade of small mummified mice Alexander had been experimenting with. Where he found the time, Hephaistion would never know, but it was pure Alexander. He always had to have something bubbling away in those little glass beakers Aristotle had given him. At least this time it was not some obnoxious medication he would insist Hephaistion try out. Ah, nai, the Hideous Boy would do beautifully for those times, a new guinea pig! Hephaistion made a mental note to mention this to Alexander. Truss him up like a chicken the way Alexander had done with him when experimenting on wrapping broken bones and such. Bagoas would no doubt adore it! Bagoas squealed as the desiccated, musty creatures fell on his silken garments and scented hair.

"Alright there, Bagoas?" Casually, removing his cloak, and sandals, he ignored the boy who was moaning and wiping blood and mice parts from his perfect face. Clucking at Alexander's cries of concern for Bagoas, Hephaistion knelt down behind the hip bath and placed his finger tenderly on Alexander's shoulders.

"Oh just relax, Xandros. Bagoas is fine, it's just a little blood. Nothing to worry about. Now close your eyes and lean back, let me make you feel better."

"Nai, nai, oh that's so much better." Alexander moaned sensually as he eyed his Persian boy who was making little noises of distress and disgust as he gingerly picked up each bit of mummified rodent with trembling hands and placed it back in the casket. "Be careful of those mice Bagoas!" Alexander's voice rose with concern, and his brow frowned gloweringly. Place them gently back in the box. I've spent hours experimenting on the mummification process." Hephaistion's smile widened as he watched Bagoas long fingers tremble each time he plucked up another dried, crumbling mouse body. He cleared his throat as he immediately wiped a blooming smile off his face. Alexander was making the oddest little guttural sounding noises. Hmmm…

"Agggh, I, ah…Tion softer! Tion, that's too hard! Phaistion! That hurts!" Alexander gurgled as he struggled under the unyielding grip clenching into his skin and muscles.

"Really, oh, oh, do forgive me! I must have gotten lost in my endeavor to please you." A slender grin lifted his beautiful lips as Alexander continued to squirm for release and Bagoas skittered away to a protective corner.

"Tion, Tion…ah, Hephaistion!" Hephaiston shook his head, widened his distracted gaze, allowing the fantasy to vanish as Alexander's voice plowed through his fantasy. He sighed and pulled his mouth into a sour moue as he met Bagoas' darkly curious gaze.

"Nai, I am here." He pulled up a clothing stool and nodded at Bagoas who handled his a cup of wine.

"You went away." Alexander's voice was light and full of teasing. "Was it anywhere nice?" Hephaistion's gaze met his and then flowed over to Bagoas.

"Very pleasant, nai."

 _To be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

Hephaistion's Perfect World

December 2016 by Lysis

Hephaistion continues with his punishment of Alexander at taking the Persian Bagoas to his bed. He is a playful mood at the stables and then later, well...will he forgive Alexander's pleas?

* * *

Several days later

The stables loomed large, at least in Hephaistion's keen eyes. He had just caught the gleam of Helios' on Alexander's red-blond head as he stepped from the early morning sunlight into the broad shadow of a separate, but beautifully constructed stable. On its wide front doors the heavy bronze embossed Macedonian sun announced royalty sheltered within. From within it halls came the snorting and stamping of a mighty beast, or Bulkephalos; as with his master his antics usually were told by his mood. And, where Alexander was so went Bagoas. Hmmm, this could be…

Non. Hephaistion had promised to meet Marsayas of Pella for some records that needed a good going over, and then there was his aide Gorgios, whom he had been wanting to do some hunting with. They had both been looking to that for quite some time. He had decided in the last week he needed some rough sport, a good hunt would ease his mind somewhat. Give his worries a break from things he could do little about. A moment he stood in the shadows, undecided, tilting his head back and forth as though one side meant "nai" and the other "non". If Alexander caught sight of him, he would be caught and have to attend him, for a while at least; and that meant exposure to Bagoas.

Now, while he was contemplating an escape he reflected he might not have felt inclined toward anything other than his duties of late. Indeed, after the end of his second watch he had been of a mind to visit with Alexander and steal a bit of private time. His feet had been aching, his shoulder and arm sore from the old wound from Gaugamela, and he had longed to lay down for a just a little beside Alexander and speaking of inconsequential things; and laugh. Oh, how he longed to laugh at some silly thing Alexander would summon up for his amusement. Just a little late night visit to cheer his mood which had been down lately. It seemed his list of duties grew longer with each passing day and his time with Alexander was now filled with the faces of everyone else in the camp it seemed. They rarely had time for a private word or meal of late it seemed.

"So your heart is broken, don't cry like a woman, Hephaistion. It could have been worse, it could have been a woman." He scolded himself as he moved away from the tent on swift silent feet. He had almost been there when he had spied Bagoas, bearing a large tray of dishes arrayed for Alexander's supper, duck into the tent. He had turned away immediately. He hadn't been fast enough though, as Ptolemy had caught him out and called after him. He ignored him as he moved quickly off mentally cursing all three men to some terrible fate, but especially Alexander. Why did he need this boy? So he was gorgeous, exotic in manner and clearly willing to please, surely, the interest would past quickly. On he trudged mumbling to himself as he sought his tent and Gorgios' companionship. Feeling a hopeful fool, he stopped by his tent once again, later and stood by the back entrance. He could hear Alexander moaning. That was enough. He swore silently and went back to his tent, threw himself on his bed, and didn't close his eyes once.

This morn he had arisen early as usual, but didn't go to Alexander's tent, as he was often wont to do. Oh, he made his presence known at the morning sacrifice, standing quite far back almost among the outer line of sentries. He ignored Alexander's looks toward him. Order him, nai, he would come. Otherwise… No, the boy would no doubt be there. He'd no desire to see that. He'd grabbed a quick meal, done a round of the camp and nearing the royal stables and hearing Alexander's voice full of bossiness, snatched a couple of apples from a passing pike man who was about to bite into one and carefully, to make certain he would not be seen just yet, followed Alexander, and his irritating shadow. He could throw the apple…non, non, why waste a good apple on the Persian? So he allowed himself into the stables by a back entrance and traced his steps silently like the hunter he was, toward the front to watch the show. Alexander looked tired, his eyes didn't sparkle like the usually did, and his voice had a touch of impatience to it. This cheered Hephaistion a bit, but then he felt concern rise up within him. He tamped it back down quickly, at the sight of Bagoas. He allowed himself to move into view. Alexander saw him and tossed him a surprised grin and moved quickly to him to embrace him.

"Tion, oh, I am so glad to see you. Where have you been of late?"

"I am here now, Xandros." He answered ignoring the urging to keep his arms about Alexander _._ _Your arms and smile may warm me, however, it is not enough_. Hephaistion muttered softly to himself, as he released himself from his companion's embrace, and watched Alexander who turned back toward his horse.

"Now whatever you do, Bagoas, don't approach Bulkephalos from the back. He will panic should he see his shadow, as I've told you." Hephaistion could not help but grin at the tone of Alexander's voice as he instructed Bagoas on the wonderful world of Bulkephalos.

He knew the horse could smell the apple's juiciness as he watched the black stallion's eyes as they searched the stable. Bulkephalos' black nose lifted from the oat bag that his sleek head had been buried in, and roughly prodded his owner to get the apple Hephaistion was now holding outward. Agggh! Bulkephalos!" Alexander suddenly let out a small wail of surprise when Bulkephalos' goosed him as he tried to reach the treat in Hephaistion's hand.

"Umm, smells wonderful, doesn't it Bulkephalos?" Alexander turned shooting an irritated glance Hephaistion's way. His forehead was a furrow of wrinkles. "Don't taunt him, Hephaistion, you know how he can be! I want his first meeting with Bagoas to be a fruitful one, don't you?" For a moment Hephaistion felt bad, he knew he was about to cause trouble. Then he shrugged his wide shoulders as he caught Alexander toss a sweet smile to Bagoas. That was enough.

Pursing his lips together to hide a smile that demanded to creep up on his face Hephaistion shook his head, took a step back and bit into the apple. It seemed the ripe crunch echoed enticingly around their ears and Bulkephalos' whinnied loudly and, again shoved at Alexander so roughly that he fell against a bale of hay to get nearer to Hephaistion. In his haste the stallion nearly stepped on Bagoas' grey leather clad foot which was too close to his strongly muscled front leg. The boy hopped out of the way quickly, too quickly to suit Hephaistion's needs, so he moved closer holding the apple out in Bagoas' direction.

"Here, he wants it, 'tis always better to give him whatever he wants lest he should lose his temper or have a little fit. He can be such a Pluton damned Cyclops at times!" Hephaistion's gaze flicked at Alexander's curly head as the words flowed from his lips. "Naughty horse!" A congenial smile graced Hephaiston's sun kissed face as he watched Bagoas gingerly take the apple. It was immediately seized upon leaving a trail of half chewed oats on Bagoas' immaculately perfumed palm. Hephaistion pursed his lips again the hide the laughter that was prodding his lips as the fussy Persian made a face and wiped his dirty hand on his clean, dark red pants. Hephaistion turned a moment as though answering the imaginary cry of Ptolemy whom he claimed was calling to him. He grinned widely, as he stepped from the shadows of the stable into the bright sunlight. He had truly enjoyed that! The boy had been decked out like the perfect courtesan he was, his long hair cleansed, scented and sparkling, his person perfumed and clothed in a handsome burgundy red costume that complimented his dark eyes and hair. Hephaistion had watched with growing irritation as Bagoas' long dark eyes glittered like dark jewels at the sight of Alexander's handsome person. Hephaistion grinned manically as he raised another apple in his hand making certain he was clearly in sight of the demanding horse and moved quickly so that again, Alexander got the brunt of his stallion's fury as the apple disappeared from view.

Laughing to himself, and at Alexander's loud irritations his good mood once more firmly in place, Hephaistion gave one last turn to watch as Bagoas slipped in a muddy puddle as he helped Alexander up from his knees which he roughly shoved upon by his horse. Bagoas was gesticulating wildly, his black tresses swinging back and forth as he assisted his Lord who was brushing horse shit from his greaves. Neither was so clear or sparkly now!

* * *

About a two weeks later, just before moon rise.

Hephaistion's long legs ate the small distance between their couches quickly. His soft step treading a faint path on the rich carpet that turned and followed back on itself as he swung about abruptly in a corner and paced back restlessly toward his couch. Alexander was watching him, a frown rising on his fair brow. His blue eyes were full of worry, and he kept patting the purple cushion beside him, attempting for the sixth time to tempt Hephaistion away from his musings and come sit by his side. Alexander wanted to offer his comfort, he longed to ease his companion's apprehensions, whatever they may be. He was aware something had been bothering him for quite a while, but he would not confide in him. It irked him enormously. He knew his Tion was spending a great deal of his time with that youth Gorgios. Well, if he could talk so much with Gorgios he could just as easily talk with him. He would insist on it!

Alexander acknowledged, oh Hades, at this very moment he longed to kiss him. Hephaistion looked particularly delicious this eve and Alexander's heart was pounding ever harder in his chest with each passing glance Hephaistion seemed to carelessly toss his way. His curly hair gleamed like the setting sun as the brazier light fell upon it, and his muscles seemed to ripple in his legs and arms with every movement he made. Hephaistion had been avoiding him of late, he was certain.

Of course, there was a period, a small one, of no more than three or four days when Alexander had been irritated with Hephaistion's antics while he and Bagoas had been in the stables. Hephaistion, knowing well how his horse was, had tempted Bulkephalos cruelly with a beautiful juicy apple. He had half a mind to call him to his tent and chastise him about the incident.

Bagoas, the sweet boy, and ever thoughtful, had been well aware he was upset about something and had done everything he could think of to soothe Alexander's irritation. He was aware Hephaistion had not come to see the King in days and as each day passed the King became more moody. So he had suggested that Alexander have a special meal prepared and call for Hephaistion to attend him. Make it an order, Alexander had mumbled to himself as he had listened to Bagoas' plan. He agreed. Bagoas had made himself scare, there was no sign of him, anywhere.

"One excuse after the next," Alexander muttered as he watched Hephaistion. He felt his patience beginning to fade and be replaced by longing as he found himself tempted by Hephaistion's masculine scent. He swallowed and took a deep breath. This was the boy who grew into the man who so delighted him. He was beautiful, his limbs perfectly muscular, his eyes; oh, those violet blue eyes, he could drown in them. He cleared his throat, sipped some wine as he watched his dearest companion pace like a panther back and forth before him. He could feel the heat in his blood rise. Tion had been hunting recently, without asking him. How dare he! He had taken his aide, Gorgios. Unaware of his actions he moaned softly, was Hephaistion's eromenos, but wasn't Hephaistion still his eromenos? Nai, he was! Alexander narrowed his eyes which were turning slightly grey and barked out.

"Come here, now Tion! Stop pacing, stop it, I…I" His voice drifted off as Hephaistion stopped right in front of him and studied him piercingly.

"You are ordering me about now?"

Alexander felt strongly inclined to reach out and grab him! How would Hephaistion like that? He would tumble him down on his couch! Hmmm, maybe he ought to try such a move. He studied his friend wondering how he would react.

"I am your King!" Alexander tried it out and could hear how feeble it sounded. Tion was on the verge of either laughter or shouting back at him.

"Tion, please come and sit by me. We…we, I haven't had much time with you of late."

"That is your choice, Alexander." Hephaistion surprised himself and he backed up a bit, his eyes wide, and his heart pounding rapidly. He swallowed the words he longed to say, to castigate Alexander's continued need of Bagoas. "You know how busy we have both been of late."

There was complete silence for a few moments then Alexander broke in, his voice a bit broken as he cleared his throat. "Nai, nai, there is no doubt we both…well our duties grow in size and need." Then he frowned and leaned forward grabbing Hephaistion's hand.

"You could have invited me on your hunting trip." Biting his lips he looked shyly up into Hephaistion's face. Hephaistion turned red and looked down.

"I did not think you would be interested."

As he considered his actions, Alexander's mind went over the last few weeks and the situation with the Tion. There was always some excuse or so it seemed whenever he called upon him to join him for an intimate supper. The other eve he'd had a terrible headache, the result of a blow during sword drill, or so his pretty aide, Gorgios, had said when he delivered his commander's polite refusal. Worried, Alexander fell in a frantic rush upon his medicine box, clutching several remedies to his chest and set out for his companion's side. However, when he got there, he found Hephaistion gone. Apparently, the headache had caused him to vomit so he had gone in search of his physician. Near panicking Alexander, with a somewhat confused Bagoas at his heels, his hands stuffed full of a basket of fruit and jug of wine, scuttled along behind him. After a harried half hour scouring the camp, a bit like a mad man, he finally found Hephaistion back in his tent, snuggled contentedly into his bed with Gorgios by his side. For a moment, when he had entered, Alexander was certain he had heard Gorgios hiss like a large predatory cat in Bagoas' direction. Non, he had told himself, Gorgios would never do such a thing! He liked Bagoas, everyone like Bagoas…didn't they? He certainly did.

"Tion?" Alexander cleared his throat and beamed up at his companion whose attention was now fully on him. "Come sit beside me, come. Please? Must I beg?" He titled his head adoringly to the side, his eyes full of longing.

"Oh…I suppose…nai." Hephaistion immediately sat beside Alexander who sighed gratefully and grabbed his hand up kissing it reverently.

"Xandros, please! You are slobbering all over me!" Hephaistion glowered, then frowned even wider realizing he needed to temper his response. He certainly didn't want Alexander to think he was rejecting him. He just wished to…to punish him a little. Just a bit. He allowed Alexander to kiss him caressingly. This really was working out wonderfully well, Hephaistion thought, as Alexander's hand danced along his taut thigh.

"I've missed you so!"

"I haven't gone anywhere." Hephaistion almost smirked as Alexander's hand moved further up his thigh. He allowed himself to relax, his eyes closed and he leaned back against Alexander's broad, well-muscled chest. He turned his head and kissed his lips lingeringly. Alexander groaned into his ear.

"Don't ever leave me, Phai, I would die without you by my side." Hephaistion chuckled softly, and chided Alexander as his lips wove a soft pattern along his throat.

"You're being overly dramatic, Xandros. I would never leave you." He sighed happily then sat up with a soft yawn.

"Tion? What? Where….Tion?" Alexander clutched desperately at the empty air beside him.

"Well, I don't want to keep you those things I know you desire." He nodded toward the outer walls of the tent to where he knew Bagoas kept his small quarters.

"But…but, Tion, don't leave me, please!" He sat up sputtering, his great blue grey eyes glistening with sudden tears. "You must stay with me! Bagoas is always here, at my beck and call, but you, you are not with me so much anymore. I miss you dearly. There is no one like you, no one can ever take your place, you know that! Tion!" He gripped at Hephaistion's arm, refusing to let him go. "You are my Patroklos! I cannot breathe without you! Please, stay with me!"

Pleased, Hephaistion smiled sweetly and sank down gracefully pulling a purring Alexander into his arms as he captured his full lips with his own. Alexander's kisses were tender upon his lips and face, they tickled his chest and his hands wound about his shoulders lovingly. He allowed himself to be pushed down onto the soft cushions as Alexander's hands slid smoothly, and caressingly up his leg. He was murmuring the sweetest endearments into Hephaistion's ear, as his sharp white teeth nipped at the tender skin of Hephaistion's throat.

Hephaistion groaned sensually as Alexander's bite marked him deeply, purpling his bronzed skin. "There now," He whispered possessively as he gazed lovingly into Hephaistion's violet eyes. "I have marked you, you are mind forever."

"I was always yours, Xandros. I have never left you." Alexander exhaled softly, bending his head to meet Hephaistion's forehead.

"Oh, I have been a fool! Blinded momentarily by a beautiful boy. Forgive me, Tion, please, please! He cannot hold a candle to you…to your tempting masculine attractions. You know how I have always longed for you!" Hephaistion grinned at the unexpected wailing and pretty pleas. He knew Alexander when he was repentant, and he was truly repentant. It dripped from every pore and breathe of his body. His eyes swam of it.

"There is nothing to forgive, beloved." Hephaistion whispered gently as he kissed Alexander's closed eyes. "You could never wrong me, not in any way. Our love will remain untouched by whatever we may fight against, it will always prevail whatever the gods may throw our way." Alexander agreed enthusiastically, and he purred happily as he pulled Hephaistion back into his loving embrace. Hephaistion smiled against the pleasurable lips caressing his. All was well, Alexander, he knew, had learned his lesson, he sighed contentedly as he was tenderly wrapped in the warm arms of his beloved once more.

FINIS


End file.
